Alright I know it's been FOREVER (months) since I've updated.
I fell off the wagon a bit since the move. Since the last post which was almost 4 months ago, I moved to an apartment about a 15 minute walk to the theatre. I pretty much picked it out of desperation and absolute need on sunlight. I work in a windowless basement and I need as much as I can get. I have also joined a gym, Orange Theory, and went on a trip to Tokyo, as well as a quick trip home and a trip to Champaign for a wedding.
I started to change my schedule after I got back form Tokyo, sort of taking advantage of the jet lag and started to go to be earlier and wake up earlier. This is aided in my workout routine which began at taking classes at 10am and has shifted to 8:45 so i can actually have a full morning before work. And by full morning I mean, making breakfast and watching TV, being able to do laundry, wash dishes, clean up a bit, you know all of the fun adult stuff. I don't socialize almost at all anymore, especially compared to tour where I maybe would have 1 night a week to myself. I really like being alone often but I also find it harder to leave my apartment to do actually fun things and to do that super important thing of letting my guard down.
Before my trip to japan I allowed myself a shopping day, where I could buy somethings that I want. And I did, I got a new pair of pants, a dress (that i didn't actually bring to japan with me) and a couple of shirts. I've also needed a whole slew of things for my apartment just to give myself peace of mind. I am, after all, a nester, and I MUST nest. Especially when I am alone, and pet-less. On that note, I've been contemplating getting a dog. I'm going to the shelter next week so we'll see what happens. I think it will be nice to have someone else to take care of for a while ya know?? I deserve it. (things I keep telling myself)
I'm not beating myself up over my short comings on this challenge because that's not the point. The point is to be more aware and conscious of my spending habit and mostly my accumulation of shit. After all, shopping will always be there for me especially when my friends cannot.
Saturday, September 21, 2019
Saturday, May 25, 2019
A Shift in Gears
If I am correct in assuming, most, if not all of you that follow this blog also follow me on Social Media, so you already know about my change in employment over the past few weeks. At the end of April I received an email that changed the course of my life and career. I was asked if I could come be the wardrobe supervisor for Hamilton in Chicago, so here I am. I've been here for a little over a week, some would stretch to say a week and a half but really I got here a week ago on Monday. I'm in the midst of securing an apartment that is close but not too close to the theatre and I've also started running. So I'm confessing to you that I've faltered a bit with the shopping challenge.
I've found that when faced with an impulse purchase I ask my self a series of questions:
I feel these questions help me a lot. I was just in target, wasting time because I showed up over half an hour early to work forgetting it's a 12:30 call and not a noon call. Dangerous choice, I know. I wandered around the clothing department just to see if that 90s aesthetic was still going strong, it is, and I found a cute belt, that I did in fact need. I have one other belt that fits on my jeans and that's it so now I have 2! A neon green with large grommets that fulfills all of "My So Called Life" dreams (ooo I should re watch that).
ANYWAY, I also caved last week when I realized I was in need of a lightweight rain coat and a new pair of sneakers, since I started running again. Well I got a cute little red jacket, and 2 pairs of sneakers. So now I have 3, not allowed to buy anymore until another pair dies. They're very cute, all comfortable and I can run in them.
So the challenge is still going fairly strong and since I've "allowed" myself to do the shopping that I used to, I find I don't feel guilty about not buying things. You don't owe it to the store to buy ANYTHING, no matter how the sales people look at you when you leave empty handed, it doesn't matter, we should not be doing the stores a kindness by buying something from them. That's what defines a consumer society. Our economy shouldn't be balancing on material things that people don't need, and throw away fashion. I wonder what would happen if clothing stopped being manufactured cold turkey. How fast would people notice? How quickly do you think we'd "Run out of clothes?" I think people would go mad with their time before they went without clothes. We all have clothes, we don't need a new shirt every week, or even every month at that matter. Retail therapy shouldn't be a thing, doing activities without needing to consume a material good should be enough. But why isn't it?
Feel free to try to answer that in the comments. I'm going to take some time with that one and maybe even post again next week :)
Thanks for reading
I've found that when faced with an impulse purchase I ask my self a series of questions:
- Do I need this item?
- Do I have something similar already that doesn't need to be duplicated?
- Do I have space for this item?
I feel these questions help me a lot. I was just in target, wasting time because I showed up over half an hour early to work forgetting it's a 12:30 call and not a noon call. Dangerous choice, I know. I wandered around the clothing department just to see if that 90s aesthetic was still going strong, it is, and I found a cute belt, that I did in fact need. I have one other belt that fits on my jeans and that's it so now I have 2! A neon green with large grommets that fulfills all of "My So Called Life" dreams (ooo I should re watch that).
ANYWAY, I also caved last week when I realized I was in need of a lightweight rain coat and a new pair of sneakers, since I started running again. Well I got a cute little red jacket, and 2 pairs of sneakers. So now I have 3, not allowed to buy anymore until another pair dies. They're very cute, all comfortable and I can run in them.
So the challenge is still going fairly strong and since I've "allowed" myself to do the shopping that I used to, I find I don't feel guilty about not buying things. You don't owe it to the store to buy ANYTHING, no matter how the sales people look at you when you leave empty handed, it doesn't matter, we should not be doing the stores a kindness by buying something from them. That's what defines a consumer society. Our economy shouldn't be balancing on material things that people don't need, and throw away fashion. I wonder what would happen if clothing stopped being manufactured cold turkey. How fast would people notice? How quickly do you think we'd "Run out of clothes?" I think people would go mad with their time before they went without clothes. We all have clothes, we don't need a new shirt every week, or even every month at that matter. Retail therapy shouldn't be a thing, doing activities without needing to consume a material good should be enough. But why isn't it?
Feel free to try to answer that in the comments. I'm going to take some time with that one and maybe even post again next week :)
Thanks for reading
Saturday, March 9, 2019
TEMPTATION
I've finally allowed myself a little bit of temptation. Not that I've really been yearning for it, but ya know I did a thing. This winter has been long and I've essentially been hibernating in hotel rooms or Air bnbs for the past few weeks. While in Providence we passed an ADORABLE vintage clothing/ consignment shop. At least one person a day told me that I HAD to go in and my reaction in my head was always "Well there's nothing there for me because I'm not buying clothes right now." Which was true... but I went anyway.
I walked in and pawed at the beautiful vintage garments that I would normally sift through until I found something that I like and that would fit. But having a different goal in mind, which was not really any goal but to look and explore, I enjoyed myself. I even tried on a wool blazer that was ADORABLE but also too big and completely unflattering. I realized that I can still "go shopping" and not buy anything. I can even try clothes on without the intention of purchasing anything. I don't "need" these things.
Society has definitely brainwashed us into thinking we owe the store our money just by walking into the store. (Self admittedly I do this in yarn stores, but that's a small business and I like supporting those.) When i worked in retail we would often get disgruntled when customers would walk in and not buy anything and that is the wrong mentality. That is why we live in such a consumer driven society, that thought right there. that little voice in your head that says "I deserve this cheap $12 shirt from forever 21 because it makes me feel good right now in the tiny 2 x 2 dressing room even though I probably won't ever wear it again. THAT IS THE PROBLEM. No one deserves more clutter.
I am a self proclaimed pack rat, I own so much shit I don't know what to do with half of it and if you've ever been with me while I'm trying to clean out my room or even just clean IT IS TORTURE. And it's not torture because I don't want to get rid of everything because I do, if my mother emptied my room right now (minus the books mom) I honestly wouldn't really notice, besides the fact that it would be empty. It's when i start to look at everything and remember "that one time that I wore this and how much fun I had" or the thought of "well I don't really like this shirt but I know I'll wear it again," then why did I buy it in the first place?
I'm learning to focus on experiences as well as food. I'd much rather spend money on a fancy dinner than another dress that I'm going to have to shlep around for a few more months.
Here's a picture of the cute little vintage store:
I walked in and pawed at the beautiful vintage garments that I would normally sift through until I found something that I like and that would fit. But having a different goal in mind, which was not really any goal but to look and explore, I enjoyed myself. I even tried on a wool blazer that was ADORABLE but also too big and completely unflattering. I realized that I can still "go shopping" and not buy anything. I can even try clothes on without the intention of purchasing anything. I don't "need" these things.
Society has definitely brainwashed us into thinking we owe the store our money just by walking into the store. (Self admittedly I do this in yarn stores, but that's a small business and I like supporting those.) When i worked in retail we would often get disgruntled when customers would walk in and not buy anything and that is the wrong mentality. That is why we live in such a consumer driven society, that thought right there. that little voice in your head that says "I deserve this cheap $12 shirt from forever 21 because it makes me feel good right now in the tiny 2 x 2 dressing room even though I probably won't ever wear it again. THAT IS THE PROBLEM. No one deserves more clutter.
I am a self proclaimed pack rat, I own so much shit I don't know what to do with half of it and if you've ever been with me while I'm trying to clean out my room or even just clean IT IS TORTURE. And it's not torture because I don't want to get rid of everything because I do, if my mother emptied my room right now (minus the books mom) I honestly wouldn't really notice, besides the fact that it would be empty. It's when i start to look at everything and remember "that one time that I wore this and how much fun I had" or the thought of "well I don't really like this shirt but I know I'll wear it again," then why did I buy it in the first place?
I'm learning to focus on experiences as well as food. I'd much rather spend money on a fancy dinner than another dress that I'm going to have to shlep around for a few more months.
Here's a picture of the cute little vintage store:
Stay tuned maybe I'll even update this next week!
Thursday, February 7, 2019
A little over a month in
I'll start off this post by saying something I didn't think I would say, even a month in: It's not that hard. Now obviously this is my personal opinion, but for someone who though they had a serious shopping addiction (you know thousands of dollars in debt, over flowing closets with nothing to wear, constantly looking for something new) It has not been that hard to stop shopping. GRANTED I'm not in NYC, I haven't needed to do serious shopping for the show, I haven't really been in a mall since then either. Well actually I have to do some show returns but at that point I despised being there so much it didn't matter.
I've been documenting anything I buy that isn't food related, so far it's been silicone sponges (which i guess is food related but whatever), a new planner for this year (That I SWEAR I will use ALL year...), a pair of yellow tinted glasses for when I spend entire shows staring at my computer (they help when I remember to wear them, I just put them on), and a Christmas gift exchange, because I was incapable of buying a phone case for my assistants new phone so I just got myself a necklace instead. I'm seriously considering buying a new travel humidifier because these hotels are DRY and I'm only mildly dying (waking up in the middle of then night to apply a thick layer of lotion to my entire body so I don't shrivel into Cassandra from Doctor Who).
Overall, so far, I feel like I have more freedom to actually do the things I want, which lately had just been a lot of knitting and netflix, but also focusing on what I want to do. I went to a few museums when I was in DC (the few that weren't closed because of the shut down). I didn't even feel any remorse about not purchasing anything from the gift shop. Flat out no desire at all. I've been thoroughly thinking purchases through and haven't felt the desire for an impulse purchase yet. The hardest thing so far, and this is absolutely ridiculous, is that I was painting my nails black and my nail polish started going bad. So naturally I texted my assistant saying "I don't think I can wait a whole year before buying more black nail polish." Then I realized that's ridiculous I can live without black nail polish for a year, or I can get a goddamn manicure because black nail polish goes bad frequently.
This experiment/ challenge really has been refocusing my attention to the things that really make me happy. I'm not 100% there yet but I'm definitely on that path.
The true test of this will be when I go home in March and, hopefully, have time to start cleaning out my room of all of the clutter and boxes I've been sending home, and clothes I don't wear, and the shoe box of nail polish I have accumulated in my life.
Thank you for reading this, and I hope to keep you all (Pierce and my mom), updated a little more frequently than once a month. I'm sure temptation will come soon and I will post about that as it happens.
I've been documenting anything I buy that isn't food related, so far it's been silicone sponges (which i guess is food related but whatever), a new planner for this year (That I SWEAR I will use ALL year...), a pair of yellow tinted glasses for when I spend entire shows staring at my computer (they help when I remember to wear them, I just put them on), and a Christmas gift exchange, because I was incapable of buying a phone case for my assistants new phone so I just got myself a necklace instead. I'm seriously considering buying a new travel humidifier because these hotels are DRY and I'm only mildly dying (waking up in the middle of then night to apply a thick layer of lotion to my entire body so I don't shrivel into Cassandra from Doctor Who).
Overall, so far, I feel like I have more freedom to actually do the things I want, which lately had just been a lot of knitting and netflix, but also focusing on what I want to do. I went to a few museums when I was in DC (the few that weren't closed because of the shut down). I didn't even feel any remorse about not purchasing anything from the gift shop. Flat out no desire at all. I've been thoroughly thinking purchases through and haven't felt the desire for an impulse purchase yet. The hardest thing so far, and this is absolutely ridiculous, is that I was painting my nails black and my nail polish started going bad. So naturally I texted my assistant saying "I don't think I can wait a whole year before buying more black nail polish." Then I realized that's ridiculous I can live without black nail polish for a year, or I can get a goddamn manicure because black nail polish goes bad frequently.
This experiment/ challenge really has been refocusing my attention to the things that really make me happy. I'm not 100% there yet but I'm definitely on that path.
The true test of this will be when I go home in March and, hopefully, have time to start cleaning out my room of all of the clutter and boxes I've been sending home, and clothes I don't wear, and the shoe box of nail polish I have accumulated in my life.
Thank you for reading this, and I hope to keep you all (Pierce and my mom), updated a little more frequently than once a month. I'm sure temptation will come soon and I will post about that as it happens.
Monday, January 7, 2019
One Week Check IN
Alright 1 week down of 52, if you know me, you know this is quite an accomplishment. It is rare that I go even this long without buying something frivolous that I "deserve" for completing some menial task that does not require a reward.
The last thing I sort of technically sort of not really bought myself was a necklace. I admit it was after new years but hear me out! I got my assistant a phone case for her brand new un sheathed iPhone and I got the wrong one. so i went back and got what I thought would be the one. Did you guys know that there's been more than just one new iPhone this year? Neither did I. The second one didn't fit. So I brought her with me to find one that fit and we couldn't, they didn't carry cases for that phone. So I told her to pick something out, she couldn't so i got a locket. I put down $10 more than I spend on the case and that's it, I'm done. For the year.
Tonight a few good friends and I went to the Founder Brewery, which I've been excited to go to for years. We did trivia and it was fun. We were in first place until the final round where I fucked up the lineage of the British thrown, oh well. They had a huge gift shop which I told them I was not to enter under any circumstances, and then you know what happened? The desire went away. That's what's been happening lately, My desire to purchase things to fill the voids in my life have been lessening and I've been attempting to fill them with experiences that mean more than objects. It's taken me a long time to get here, because I always loved and valued having things. I don't need all the things! I need people, and fun stories, and valued alone time, and not that dress that I saw someone where and I uttered "I want that, no, I NEED that."
I'm also discovering the people in my life who will challenge me. There's a store in Seattle that is the sister of another store I went to in New Orleans, where I splurged probably the most I've ever done in one foul swoop. I basically now own everything I'd ever need. IF i were to get married this year on some whim? I have a wedding dress (I think, still in my closet from grad school.) Oh god, I hope I'm not in a wedding part this year. I guess that'll be the exception to this rule, unless they let me get by with something I already have.
Anyway, that's been my check in on week 1. This week we're in Grand Rapids and I will inform you all of any temptation.
Lesson learned: I do not need a hoodie with the logo of the brewery I've gone to, I just need the memories.
The last thing I sort of technically sort of not really bought myself was a necklace. I admit it was after new years but hear me out! I got my assistant a phone case for her brand new un sheathed iPhone and I got the wrong one. so i went back and got what I thought would be the one. Did you guys know that there's been more than just one new iPhone this year? Neither did I. The second one didn't fit. So I brought her with me to find one that fit and we couldn't, they didn't carry cases for that phone. So I told her to pick something out, she couldn't so i got a locket. I put down $10 more than I spend on the case and that's it, I'm done. For the year.
Tonight a few good friends and I went to the Founder Brewery, which I've been excited to go to for years. We did trivia and it was fun. We were in first place until the final round where I fucked up the lineage of the British thrown, oh well. They had a huge gift shop which I told them I was not to enter under any circumstances, and then you know what happened? The desire went away. That's what's been happening lately, My desire to purchase things to fill the voids in my life have been lessening and I've been attempting to fill them with experiences that mean more than objects. It's taken me a long time to get here, because I always loved and valued having things. I don't need all the things! I need people, and fun stories, and valued alone time, and not that dress that I saw someone where and I uttered "I want that, no, I NEED that."
I'm also discovering the people in my life who will challenge me. There's a store in Seattle that is the sister of another store I went to in New Orleans, where I splurged probably the most I've ever done in one foul swoop. I basically now own everything I'd ever need. IF i were to get married this year on some whim? I have a wedding dress (I think, still in my closet from grad school.) Oh god, I hope I'm not in a wedding part this year. I guess that'll be the exception to this rule, unless they let me get by with something I already have.
Anyway, that's been my check in on week 1. This week we're in Grand Rapids and I will inform you all of any temptation.
Lesson learned: I do not need a hoodie with the logo of the brewery I've gone to, I just need the memories.
Friday, January 4, 2019
And So, It Begins
I usually don't make New Years resolutions but this year I've decided to tackle a problem that I've had probably my whole life. My love, and desire of shopping.
As a kid I used to hate shopping, I remember my mother dragging me into the Macy's at Queens Center. I would do anything to entertain myself because I didn't care about clothes, I only cared about toys. It probably stems form being a spoiled only child who was the first grandchild on both sides, so basically I always got what I wanted. I didn't realize how much I loved shopping for clothes until I was a teenager. Especially when I finally graduated from catholic school when I was 13.
I went to performing arts high school as a dancer, so I would have multiple outfit changes a day. Out of street clothes into dance clothes (which I also love shopping for) and then back into street clothes, and on the days I had dance after school I would change into another set of dance clothes, then pajamas, or straight into pjs (sweat pants and whatever t shirt I wore that day) when I got home. This allowed for a lot of accumulation of clothes in my life. I was also the same size as my aunt who passed down a lot of her clothes. Then I discovered the treasure trove of my attic where I took my parent's clothes that were stored (and forgotten) up there. It was a whole thing. I was obsessed with finding new, vintage, weird, practical clothing. And I began "Collecting." Which I'm pretty sure is what every hoarder says to themselves, I'm just a collector! But here's the problem, I really am collecting these clothes, because now I work in the costuming world and It pays to have a stock of clothes to pick from.
The long and short of it is, I HAVE TO STOP BUYING THINGS I DON'T NEED!!! I have so much stuff that I forget what I have. I currently am the Wardrobe Supervisor on a National Tour of a Musical and my problem has only gotten worse. How you ask? because I can send stuff home to free up space, and I am a space filler, so I will refill the void faster than you can say lightning.
So It's been, now 4 days of 2019 and it doesn't seem so bad. Please check in a week, I might be rocking in fetal position in the hotel room.
So the rules are:
-No new clothes unless it is an emergency (which includes lost luggage, fancy event that must be attended last minute, or dirty underwear/ bathing suit emergency, same for socks)
-No new makeup, unless it is a gift, or eyeliner/ mascara/ primer runs out. This includes amazing and pretty new eyeshadow palates and NO LIPSTICK or nail polish.
-No Trinkets that aren't a necessity, except for the shot glass collection (for the road bar of course) or patches/ stickers.
-No NEW SHOES DON'T EVEN THINK ABOUT IT, YOU HAVE A PAIR FOR EVERY OCCASION (that last bit is a reminder for me)
Goals to I want take away from this:
-Being able to find happiness outside of impulse purchases
-Declutter my life a little bit
-Impulse control
-Gaining more experiences and less things
SO for the 3 people that will follow this blog, hold me accountable! And I hope you stay with me on this ridiculous but hopefully beneficial journey.
As a kid I used to hate shopping, I remember my mother dragging me into the Macy's at Queens Center. I would do anything to entertain myself because I didn't care about clothes, I only cared about toys. It probably stems form being a spoiled only child who was the first grandchild on both sides, so basically I always got what I wanted. I didn't realize how much I loved shopping for clothes until I was a teenager. Especially when I finally graduated from catholic school when I was 13.
I went to performing arts high school as a dancer, so I would have multiple outfit changes a day. Out of street clothes into dance clothes (which I also love shopping for) and then back into street clothes, and on the days I had dance after school I would change into another set of dance clothes, then pajamas, or straight into pjs (sweat pants and whatever t shirt I wore that day) when I got home. This allowed for a lot of accumulation of clothes in my life. I was also the same size as my aunt who passed down a lot of her clothes. Then I discovered the treasure trove of my attic where I took my parent's clothes that were stored (and forgotten) up there. It was a whole thing. I was obsessed with finding new, vintage, weird, practical clothing. And I began "Collecting." Which I'm pretty sure is what every hoarder says to themselves, I'm just a collector! But here's the problem, I really am collecting these clothes, because now I work in the costuming world and It pays to have a stock of clothes to pick from.
The long and short of it is, I HAVE TO STOP BUYING THINGS I DON'T NEED!!! I have so much stuff that I forget what I have. I currently am the Wardrobe Supervisor on a National Tour of a Musical and my problem has only gotten worse. How you ask? because I can send stuff home to free up space, and I am a space filler, so I will refill the void faster than you can say lightning.
So It's been, now 4 days of 2019 and it doesn't seem so bad. Please check in a week, I might be rocking in fetal position in the hotel room.
So the rules are:
-No new clothes unless it is an emergency (which includes lost luggage, fancy event that must be attended last minute, or dirty underwear/ bathing suit emergency, same for socks)
-No new makeup, unless it is a gift, or eyeliner/ mascara/ primer runs out. This includes amazing and pretty new eyeshadow palates and NO LIPSTICK or nail polish.
-No Trinkets that aren't a necessity, except for the shot glass collection (for the road bar of course) or patches/ stickers.
-No NEW SHOES DON'T EVEN THINK ABOUT IT, YOU HAVE A PAIR FOR EVERY OCCASION (that last bit is a reminder for me)
Goals to I want take away from this:
-Being able to find happiness outside of impulse purchases
-Declutter my life a little bit
-Impulse control
-Gaining more experiences and less things
SO for the 3 people that will follow this blog, hold me accountable! And I hope you stay with me on this ridiculous but hopefully beneficial journey.
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